


all things are ready, if our mind be so

by glazedsun



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 18:10:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4715672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glazedsun/pseuds/glazedsun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Zayn is offered the summer internship he'd been desperate for, he doesn't hesitate to take it. Things get complicated when he starts falling for his roommate... and said roommate's boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all things are ready, if our mind be so

**Author's Note:**

  * For [queenregent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenregent/gifts).



> For queenregent, who asked for a zilo uni au with zayn realizing he's falling for both liam and louis, who are in an established relationship, with eventual side narry. the side narry isn't super prominent, but it's definitely there! i don't know if it's quite what you asked for, but i hope you like it anyway.
> 
> a big thank you to c, my beta, and the couple people on tumblr who were cheering me on even when i was getting frustrated with this fic.
> 
> title is from _Henry V_ by Shakespeare.

All it took for Zayn’s whole world to turn upside down was one failed test.

And the test wasn’t even his.

Everything started in the summer before Zayn’s junior year of university. While he normally went home for the summers, that year was different. After two years of trying, all of the hard work toward his English degree paid off enough that he finally got the internship he’d been hoping for. He was working with the literary magazine on campus, hoping to get an idea of just what went into the process of getting published and how features were chosen over others. The friends that he usually lived with were all back home for the summer, so after some searching he wound up sharing a flat with three new lads named Harry, Ed, and Louis. 

Luckily, Zayn got on pretty easily with them all. He and Louis clicked almost immediately. They were so alike in so many ways- large families, mischievous and fun loving. But they were just different enough that they complimented each other, could talk to each other about everything or just sit in quiet for awhile after a stressful day. Those days, they had taken to hiding in Louis’ room, making half-assed blanket forts and zoning out from the rest of the world for a while. They even had a code name for it: Blankets Under Stress, or Bus 1. The one was for the fact that Louis’ bedroom was the first in the flat.

He got along almost as well with his other two roommates. Ed was a music major, and when he wasn’t in the studio, he seemed to always have his guitar in hand, often with his classmate and fellow music major Niall. Harry was a marine biology major, and when he wasn’t in the lab, he was helping out around the radio station. It was rare for all four roommates to be in the flat at the same time, but they tried to make a movie night of it every once in a while. And when Niall joined them, it was even more of a raucous affair full of beer, laughter, and music. 

It was strange, really. Zayn had only been living in the flat about a month, but in that month he felt like he’d lived more than the rest of his time at school. There was just something about having these boys in his life that brought him out of his shell in a way that nobody else could. He was grateful for them, truly.

-

One afternoon, Zayn and Ed were both lounging on one couch while Niall and Harry were sprawled on the other. Niall had come over under the guise of doing some writing with Ed. It didn’t take long, however, before Niall was attached to Harry’s side. The two of them were going close over the weeks, and also much more affectionate. Zayn watched on in amusement as they flirted with each other, neither one really realizing what the other was doing. It was ridiculously adorable, and it also made Zayn ridiculously jealous. He always found himself too busy with his schoolwork to ever attempt to find anyone other than pulling a quick one-off, and he was over it. When Zayn glanced over at Ed, he noticed him watching the two lads with a similar knowing smirk on his face. They nodded at each other, busying themselves working on a song together until Niall and Harry left. Once the pair were gone, Ed and Zayn immediately started trying to come up with ways to set up Niall and Harry. 

-

“Fuck this,” Louis whined, collapsing back onto the ragged couch in the main living area of the flat. Zayn looked up from the article he was editing, raising an eyebrow at the other man. “’s bullshit,” Louis continued to whine, expecting that to be an explanation enough. When Zayn just continued to stare blankly at Louis, the other man gave a massive, exaggerated sigh. “Shakespeare. ‘m not going to graduate because I can’t tell the bloody Henrys apart. Why are there so many bloody Henrys?! Fuckin’ royalty.” Louis continued on with his rant, and eventually Zayn began to tune him out even though he shook his head in amusement.

“You quite finished?” Zayn finally asked when it looked like Louis was starting to run out of steam in his one-sided argument. 

“Reckon so,” Louis shrugged with a grin.

“Good,” replied Zayn. He stood up, going into his room and coming out with a baggie. “I was saving this for a special occasion, but stress relief sounds better.”

Louis’ eyes lit up when he saw what Zayn had. “Fuckin’ right! You’re the best, Zee.” He reached up and messed with Zayn’s hair.

It wasn’t long until they sprawled out on the couch together, passing the joint back and forth and slowly relaxing in each other’s presence. Zayn watched, fascinated, as Louis started off into a rambling story. He wasn’t even really paying attention to the words that were coming from the other man’s mouth, but rather the movements his mouth made. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Louis’ mouth.

Sure, from the moment that Zayn had met Louis he thought he was attractive. There was just something about the other man. He hadn’t thought much on it, though, and mostly just ignored it and treated it like appreciating any other beautiful man or woman who walked past him. However, that night he realized that there was definitely more to the attraction. 

Unfortunately, there was a problem. That problem’s name was Liam Payne. Liam was Louis’ boyfriend, and while Zayn had only met him once or twice in passing, he had heard a lot from Louis. Like, a lot. Not just stories about Liam, but… well. Zayn’s room was directly next to Louis’, and he suddenly wondered if Louis and Liam had been extra loud on purpose, wanting him to hear how, well, hot they sounded together. He’d never really thought anything of it, at least not until that moment. He knew that he had no chance with Louis, but that didn’t stop him from appreciating the boy sprawled out next to him. He took advantage of Louis’ distracted ramblings to stare until he started to feel drowsy and they both drifted off to sleep.

-

A month later found Zayn sprawled out on the same couch, but this time he had his feet in Liam’s lap. After bonding with Louis the afternoon after Louis’ failed Shakespeare exam, Zayn had spent more time with Louis and Liam. He’d grown closer to both of them, finding that he was spending almost all of his free time with them. That day, they were both waiting for Louis to get back from his class. Liam had put on one of the Batman movies, and they were chatting softly while Zayn edited an article for the magazine. Zayn enjoyed the time spent with Liam a lot more than he thought he would. He figured he would just be jealous of the other man, resenting him for dating Louis. He just couldn’t, though. Liam was too genuine, too sweet. They had settled into a comfortable friendship, and Zayn found that he was most relaxed when he was around Liam. 

After the movie, Liam turned the telly back on and started to flip through the channels until he found something to watch. “He’s well fit,” Liam said after a few moments, nodding to one of the male actors on the show.

Zayn looked up at the screen, finding himself nodding in agreement. “Definitely. Don’t think Lou would appreciate that, though,” he laughed, shaking his head. One thing he’d noticed early on in their friendship was that Louis had a jealous streak as wide as a river. If he wanted someone’s attention, they better give it to him, and Louis would not give up until he had that attention. He had a feeling that Louis wouldn’t really appreciate his very fit boyfriend wanting other men.

“He’d probably agree,” Liam just laughed brightly. 

“He wouldn’t be jealous?” Zayn asked, raising an eyebrow. He sat up a little more, putting his laptop onto the coffee table. There was no way he’d be able to concentrate on work with where this conversation seemed to be heading.

Liam shrugged. “Maybe a little, but we’ve… got an arrangement.” He looked down at his nails, suddenly finding them fascinating.

“An arrangement?”

Liam nodded, shifting a bit in his seat. “Yeah. Hasn’t happened in a while, but if there’s someone else…” he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. He didn’t elaborate, making Zayn frown a bit but nod. He assumed that Liam meant they had some kind of open relationship agreement. That surprised him, because Liam seemed incredibly loyal and Louis seemed crazy about Liam.

But then again, they were both incredibly fit. Like, _incredibly_. They probably could pull anyone they wanted, so maybe it made sense that they were in an arrangement like that. He watched Liam in silence for a moment, then was hit with a sudden realization. Somewhere into their friendship, he started falling for Liam just as much as Louis. When the fuck did that happen? He blinked, chasing the thoughts out of his head. Just because they had some kind of open relationship, didn’t mean he needed them both. Didn’t mean he should be with either of them, really, not when they were clearly crazy about each other. Surely, they would figure that out, and they didn’t need Zayn crushing on them to make it more complicated.

-

At first after that conversation, Zayn still spent time with Liam and Louis. He spent a lot of time with them separately, especially Louis, but also together, the three of them. Those times were always his favorite. There was just something that felt so right when he was with both of the boys. And as the days went on, and the more time he spent with both of them, the more that he realized his feelings were getting more and more intense. It started to get too overwhelming, until he came to the conclusion that the best way to get over them would probably be to distance himself from them. Instead, he threw his energy into his internship, as well as helping Ed make Harry and Niall realize that they were, in fact, dating.

-

Zayn couldn’t help but be confused when one night, Louis and Liam both rushed into the flat, grabbed his hand, and sat him down on the couch. “You’ve been avoiding us,” Louis said bluntly, arms crossed over his chest. “I, for one, do not appreciate it.”

“’ve just been busy,” Zayn stuttered out, looking from Louis’ annoyed face to Liam’s sad pout. Of course he’d been avoiding them, but he had to. He couldn’t stand being around either of them, knowing that he wanted nothing more than to just… be with them. And sure, they had the whole open relationship arrangement. Trouble was, Zayn didn’t just want one or the other. He wanted both, but he didn’t want just the quick one-off threesome they’d already tried to bribe him with. He knew he was gone for both of them, but he’d hoped that avoiding them for the rest of the summer would mean that he would just get over it. So he did his best to keep busy with his internship and doing some summer reading, hoping they wouldn’t catch on. He should have guessed they would, though.

“Keeping busy on purpose, more like,” Louis frowned, and Zayn just shrugged, unable to look at either of them. “Alright, Zee, what’s up?”

Zayn glanced up at them, then looked back down, shrugging again. He really didn’t want to get into anything, have to admit to them what was going on. But then he caught sight of Liam’s pout, and… fuck, he really couldn’t resist that. He let out a long sigh before speaking up. “It’s just… you guys. You’re both so fit, and amazing. And such a good couple, I don’t want to ruin that.”

“What do you mean, ruin it?” Liam spoke up, frowning.

“It’s like,” Zayn paused, struggling to find the words he was looking for. “I know you’ve got this open thing? Which I guess I don’t get, because you’re just so perfect for each other, why would you ever want to be with anyone else? And you’re both so special that….” He paused, not sure quite what to say to the two men who were now suddenly smiling gently at him. 

“We still want to be together,” Liam said, reaching to grab Louis’ hand to squeeze it. “Lou here is my soulmate. But there’s more to it than that, it’s not that simple. It’s not us having lovers on the side.”

“What do you mean?” Zayn frowned, really confused now. “Isn’t that what being in an open relationship is all about?”

“Traditionally, maybe,” Louis shrugged. “But not for us. Have you ever heard of polyamory?” Zayn just shook his head, raising an eyebrow. “Alright. It’s… it means many loves. It’s a relationship involving more than two people.”

“That’s an open relationship,” Zayn frowned, crossing his arms over his chest and starting to get annoyed that his friends were just messing with him. 

“No, it’s not,” Louis snapped, frowning.

“Lou,” Liam said gently, placing his hand on Louis’ thigh to try and calm him down. “You know this isn’t easy for most people to understand.” Liam then turned to Zayn, whose frown was deeper still now. “A poly relationship is one that is agreed on by everyone in the relationship.”

Louis took a deep breath, clearly trying to calm himself down before continuing on from Liam’s words. “Everyone involved has to agree to it. It’s not… it’s not just about sex. It’s about romance, about… falling in love with each other.”

“So, what you’re saying… is that you don’t just want to have a threesome with me.” Zayn spoke slowly, trying to talk it through out loud and figure it out for himself. “You want to, what, both date me?” He frowned in confusion. “Like on the side?”

“Not on the side,” Liam said, looking to Louis who nodded in confirmation for the younger lad to continue, “But the three of us, together. All dating each other.”

“That… what?” Zayn blinked, just as confused as he’d been moments earlier.

“Hold on,” Louis said. He stood up, leaning in to kiss Liam on the forehead. He walked into his bedroom, grabbing something and handing it to Zayn. 

Zayn looked down at the book in his hand. “ _More Than Two_ ,” he read aloud, blinking. “This is what you mean? It’s about the type of relationship you two have?”

“Want,” Liam corrected, blushing in a way that caused Zayn’s chest to tighten. “We want it with you. But you have to be okay with it, first and foremost.”

“Read that,” Louis said with a nod to the book. “Get an understanding about what being in a poly relationship means. Once you read it… think about if it’s something you’d feel comfortable with, and want with us. Then we can go from there.”

Zayn stared down at the book for a moment, then looked up at the couple sitting in front of him. “Alright, I can do that.”

“Good,” Louis said, standing up. “You get started on that. Liam and I are going to go to his place to fuck.” Despite his confusion and how overwhelmed he was with the information he’d been given, Zayn couldn’t help but let out a surprised snort of amusement at Louis’ bluntness. He laughed fully when Liam smacked Louis in the back of the head.

“We are going to study,” Liam corrected him, trying to look stern. Trying, being the key word. Zayn could see the sparkle of mischief in Liam’s brown eyes.

“Then fuck,” Louis grinned, winking at Zayn and leading his boyfriend out the door. Zayn rolled his eyes, waving to them and turning to look down at the book in front of him. No time like the present to get started, then. He stood up, grabbing a bottle of beer before settling back on the overstuffed couch to start reading.

-

It took Zayn nearly a week to finish reading the book. While it wasn’t long, and a pretty easy read, he still had to focus on his actual internship first and foremost. The more he read of the book, though, the harder it was for him to wrap his head around the concept. Sure, the book explained it pretty clearly… that wasn’t what he was struggling with. 

He’d been raised fairly strictly. Love was between a man and a woman, you were meant to find the right person and settle down with them and raise a family. Because of that, he’d had a hard enough time coming to terms with being bisexual. His parents had eventually accepted it, but this… this was so outside of that. He knew that he had to talk more with Liam and Louis; maybe they would be able to understand and better explain his concerns. 

The day to talk to them came a couple of days after he’d finished reading the book. Harry was out with Niall, finally on a proper date, while Ed was doing some writing with a mate of his, which left Zayn and Louis lounging in front of the TV. 

“Finished the book?” Louis asked during a commercial break, eyebrow raised in question.

“Yeah,” Zayn replied, chewing a bit at his lip. “I’ve got… questions about it, I guess.”

Louis nodded, grabbing his phone. “Good. Questions are good. Let me just text Payno, ask him to come over.” 

“Tell him to pick us up some takeaway,” Zayn suggested, watching Louis type away at his phone. Louis’ only response was to hold up his hand for a high five, then go right back to finishing his message to his boyfriend. Zayn laughed at that, shaking his head. 

“He’ll be here in fifteen,” Louis announced, setting his phone down. They turned their attention back to the television, commenting about the show but not bringing up the topic of polyamory yet. That would wait until Liam got there.

Once Liam came over and they all ate, Louis announced that it was time for them to get down to business.

“Where should we start?” Liam asked, crossing his legs in front of him.

“I guess just answering what questions Zayn has?” Louis suggested with a shrug, looking over to Zayn.

“I don’t know where to start, either,” Zayn admitted, flushing slightly. He thought about it for a moment, then reached over to the table next to the couch. He grabbed _More Than Two_ , flipping through it to where he’d marked pages and written little notes in the margin.

“Oi! Did you deface my book?!” Louis asked in surprise, noticing the hand written notes next to the printed words.

“Like you actually read,” Liam teased Louis, poking him in the side. 

Louis stuck his tongue out at Liam. “I’ll have you know, I do. Sometimes.”

“Don’t worry about him, Zee,” Liam laughed, waving Louis off. “Take your time.”

Zayn laughed, shaking his head at the couple. Louis was trying to reach up to twist Liam’s nipples, but each time Liam was able to smack his hands away. “I guess there’s two things that I’m having the most trouble with. How does it wind up equal? Wouldn’t someone, somehow, wind up being the third wheel or left out? It just feels so natural to pair off. And I don’t really understand, like. How it’s possible to love more than one person equally, especially when you two have loved each other so much longer?”

“Good questions!” Liam gave Zayn an encouraging smile. “I’ll help with the first question. It’s about finding a comfort with each other, engaging each other as much or as little as we want. Like… if we go out, the three of us, it’s somewhere we can all participate instead of worrying about being paired off. Or if there’s something just two want to do, the third has to be okay with it. We can make decisions however we want. If you worry about getting jealous, then we can just be all three of us.”

Zayn nodded, mulling over Liam’s explanation in his mind. That was pretty much how the book described it, so Liam didn’t exactly give him new information. It did help, however, just to get his take on it. And it also helped knowing that they would always make an effort to include him, if they did indeed go ahead with a relationship.

“As for the second part,” Louis came in. “It’s not really so much about loving each other equally.” Zayn frowned, opening his mouth to protest, but Louis waved him off to continue talking instead. “It’s impossible to love two very different people equally. So it’s all about loving each other completely, all the little quirks that make us individual. It’s about giving as much of your heart to one person as you do to the other, even if the ways you show love are different.”

Once Louis explained what he meant, Zayn immediately felt like he understood better. It made more sense, made it seem more likely to love more than one person that way. “Have you guys ever… been in a relationship like that before?” He asked, curious. He knew that the two had been dating for quite some time, but now needed to know if they’d ever had anyone else serious. 

Almost immediately, Zayn regretted the question even though he knew it had to be answered. Liam’s face fell, and Louis’ face went blank. “Yeah, once,” Liam murmured. “He wound up going to a different school than us, and it just….” He trailed off, sighing.

“He was supposed to go to the same school as us,” Louis corrected, his voice cold. “Decided to go with his rugby mates instead, even though we have a better team here. We tried to keep going with him anyway, tried to schedule Skype dates and everything, and he just…” Louis shrugged. “Wasn’t having it anymore. Didn’t hear much from him for a while, until we got an email one day all about how he’d found someone else; how he had a proper, _normal_ relationship with her.” Zayn couldn’t help but shiver at the cold, bitter, sad tone that Louis finished the last sentence with. “We haven’t thought about trying to find someone serious after that.”

“It hurt,” Liam said softly, squeezing Louis’ hand. “Still does, sometimes. It was love to us, real and true and perfectly normal for us. Couldn’t imagine going through that again, so we kept it between us. Sometimes a casual one off, but that was rare.”

“Why me, then? What changed?” Zayn asked, fiddling with the sleeves of his jumper. While he’d guessed that they might have had some kind of poly relationship before him, he certainly hadn’t expected the level of hurt and seriousness the previous relationship had.

Liam and Louis looked at each other, having a silent conversation between them. Louis finally turned back to Zayn, shrugging a bit. “Just… sort of happened, I guess. Literally just… wanted to get through the summer term and then go on a short holiday. Certainly didn’t expect to get so close to all my roommates, especially… to have a thing for one of them. But you just, dunno. You just fit.”

“Whenever it’s been the three of us hanging out together, it’s just felt so right,” Liam continued, blushing a bit. “It’s hard to explain.”

“No, I get what you mean,” Zayn admitted. “I was attracted to both of you individually, but there’s just… something special about when it’s the three of us. More than just any physical attraction.”

“That’s exactly what this is about,” Louis smiled, reaching over to grab Zayn’s hand and hold it gently. “It’s not just about the physical connection. Obviously you’re attractive, we’d have to be blind not to see it. It’s about dating, about sitting together and chilling.”

“Okay,” Zayn said slowly, nodding and squeezing Louis’ hand.

“Okay?” Liam asked. “Does that mean…” he trailed off, a hopefully expression on his face. 

Zayn nodded. “It means exactly that. I want to try this, try us. See where it takes us. But…. On one condition.”

“Of course, anything. That’s why we set up rules and discuss our comfort levels,” Louis said quickly, not wanting to scare Zayn away.

“I want to go slow… I don’t want to just jump into bed and have it somehow wind up being a one-off thing after all.”

To Zayn’s surprise, both Louis and Liam had nearly identical looks of relief on their faces. “Good, that’s good,” Liam said softly. He laughed shakily when Zayn raised an eyebrow. “I think we… just rushed into the sex too quickly with Andy? We tried to make it more, but looking back on it he seemed mostly into it for sex. I… I can’t go through that again,” he looked down at the floor, leaning into Louis when the elder wrapped his arm around the younger. 

“I can’t… guarantee anything,” Zayn admitted, but to his relief both Louis and Liam nodded. “All I can say is that I am attracted to both of you in a lot of different ways, and want to… explore this.”

“And if at any time, you feel uncomfortable or like it’s not something you can do, just be honest with us,” Louis said gently. “Don’t fuck off to another school instead.”

“Deal,” Zayn grinned, squeezing Louis’ hand again.

When he looked from Liam to Louis, saw the hopeful look in their eyes, Zayn knew. He knew that it wouldn’t be easy, and he knew that he might not always be 100% comfortable with everything. He even knew that it might not work out in the end. But what he knew most of all was that these boys were so worth trying and putting his heart on the line for.

-

_Three Months Later_

It had been rocky at first, Zayn couldn’t deny. Things were a bit awkward as they tried to navigate into the arrangement, but there were also times that it fit perfectly into place. When it was just the three of them, Zayn was happier than he’d ever been. They’d gone out on a few dates, to begin with. Before anything else, they wanted to start to find their groove, and then the sex followed after. Everything seemed to slip into place three weeks after their initial conversation, when Ed walked in on them all curled up with each other after a particularly strenuous afternoon of sex. Instead of questioning anything, he had quite the opposite reaction. Much like the reaction Zayn had had when Niall and Harry became official, Ed just muttered “finally” under his breath and grabbed some books before heading right back out the door. The three of them just looked at each other and laughed, understanding that it was good. That they were going to work.

It went that way for much of the remainder of the summer term. They grew closer and closer, and a few more people found out about their relationship. Zayn did well enough on his internship to earn an official position on the magazine for the next school year. Louis passed his course- barely, but he managed it with the combined help of Zayn and Liam. Once the term ended, they went on holiday for two weeks before spending the remainder of the summer with their respective families. Zayn had been afraid it would fall apart over that time; Louis and Liam lived in the same city, after all, while Zayn was further away. Somehow, it worked. They were on Skype almost every day, and if the two of them went on any dates, they were sure to get Zayn’s okay. 

That particular day was the day they were moving into their new flat, and Zayn was anxiously awaiting for his boyfriends to show up. The three of them decided to get a smaller flat together, just them. Harry was spending his first term studying abroad in Australia, planning to spend nearly every day studying the marine life of the Great Barrier Reef. Niall, not wanting to be countries away from his boyfriend, opted for a study abroad program of his own, in Sydney. They weren’t at the same school, but they were much closer than if Niall had stayed behind. Ed graduated, and decided to move to London to pursue his music dreams. 

Zayn looked up from where he was sitting on the couch when he heard a commotion outside the door. His eyes lit up when the door opened, Liam running in with Louis riding on his back. Louis let out a happy yell, and Liam pounced on Zayn, ignoring the squawk from Louis, who had gone crashing to the ground. They wound up piled in a heap on the floor, laughing and hugging until there were tears of happiness in Zayn’s eyes. 

After a few minutes, they all stood up. Louis announced that Liam was going to get the rest of the luggage from the car, while Louis called for a takeaway dinner. Zayn rolled his eyes, shaking his head fondly as his boyfriend flopped back on the couch. When Zayn looked over at Liam, he saw that same fond and exasperated look on the younger boy’s face. He couldn’t help but laugh, and leaned down to kiss Louis before following Liam out the door to help him bring their things in.

Yes, their relationship was unconventional. No, it wasn’t always easy. But there was one thing that Zayn was absolutely sure of: he was right where he needed to be with these boys.


End file.
